confession

Tired. This concert going lifestyle of theirs is terribly exhausting for me. Somehow. I don’t know why, I don’t know how but it is. An empty head I am full with right now, only the music. It is somehow great yet. Fantastic somehow. I don’t think I can find a way out of this. I’m just gonna have to take it as it is. Go wherever they go, go whenever they go, perform wherever and whenever.

Be there, support them all trough whatever it takes. However exhausting it may gets. Till the very last breath I will, I will have to. Maybe I am, I hope that after all their most devoted fan, their most enthusiastic supporter. For the last 17 months I haven’t missed a single concert, a single appearance. I was there on every gig.

I want to believe now that they couldn’t make it without me. That I am part of the band and I will always be. I am tired. I don’t believe that I have ever been so tired. I don’t think this is possible to be this tired. Maybe I feel that final day coming, just around the corner. Maybe the day we part is approaching sooner than I thought. Maybe… I fear but I know I shall not. I should take comfort in knowing that the show, the band will live on. He will continue without me. They will, he will feel I’m gone and he may write songs remembering.

Jazz is my life. This will always tie us stronger than any knot on a tie ever can. I am tired. It’s been a long week, a long summer; little town festivals, single gigs here and there and it is a large country. A very large country. Long roads. But I’m always there. Never miss. We’re always together and always will be as long as the thread, the silk in my body keeps in together and allows me in person to be there, I will. I will be there and I will be his favourite tie long as I will.